My Reaction To (*most*) Evangelical Books On Relationships & Marriage

I know they’re out there. But I, personally, have trouble finding a theologically deep, well-written (!!!), thought-provoking book on marriage, celibacy, dating, relationships…etc. Which is simultaneously sad and frustrating.

So if you have one that you recommend, I’d love to hear it. I shant judge you (even if I do judge the book). So let’s hear it.

Because I’m running out of windows.

2 thoughts on “My Reaction To (*most*) Evangelical Books On Relationships & Marriage

  1. Check out Walter Wangerin’s ‘As for Me and My House’. It’s successful precisely because it is NOT a “3-step” or “self-help” book. It’s like being friends with Wangerin & his wife, which is more work than a “3-step” book but way more rewarding.

    A single good suggestion aside…I agree completely. The Christian relationship literature selection is mostly prooftext-ridden self-help drivel, but that’s just a reflection of Christianity today. I’d say “shallow self-help” is a label that could be applied to vast swaths of Christian literature, curriculum, sermon-writing, and especially adult ed at churches.

    The Church is certainly losing the marriage/sex/relationship game, overall, and I think what’s missing is exactly what’s missing from all the literature- story. Friendship. Relationship. The literature instead reflects our societal attitudes, and our attitudes look like BuzzFeed articles- “10 Ways You Are the WORST Husband and How to Fix Them.” I hope that the Church can turn this around, and start being a radical locus for inter-generational friendships & mentoring, perhaps especially where marriage, sex, and relationships are concerned.

    One very brief story & I’m out:

    3 years into my marriage, I talked with a close friend after he stayed the night on my couch. He’d had a blowout fight with his wife (first 6 months of his marriage), and they both needed a night to cool off. He was panicked, thinking that this was the first death knell in his relationship. In the 1st year of my own marriage, my wife & I fought hard enough to sleep separately a bunch of times- so I told him that. The relief and hope my friend experienced hearing that was huge, because suddenly he wasn’t a screwup, wasn’t alone, wasn’t the only one, and had palpable proof that marriages can totally make it through “sleep on the couch” type fights. I can only hope to give more moments like that, and to receive them from those further along than me.

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