I know they’re out there. But I, personally, have trouble finding a theologically deep, well-written (!!!), thought-provoking book on marriage, celibacy, dating, relationships…etc. Which is simultaneously sad and frustrating.
So if you have one that you recommend, I’d love to hear it. I shant judge you (even if I do judge the book). So let’s hear it.
Because I’m running out of windows.
Advertisements
Tim Keller The Meaning of Marriage
Emerson Eggeriches Love and Respect
Check out Walter Wangerin’s ‘As for Me and My House’. It’s successful precisely because it is NOT a “3-step” or “self-help” book. It’s like being friends with Wangerin & his wife, which is more work than a “3-step” book but way more rewarding.
A single good suggestion aside…I agree completely. The Christian relationship literature selection is mostly prooftext-ridden self-help drivel, but that’s just a reflection of Christianity today. I’d say “shallow self-help” is a label that could be applied to vast swaths of Christian literature, curriculum, sermon-writing, and especially adult ed at churches.
The Church is certainly losing the marriage/sex/relationship game, overall, and I think what’s missing is exactly what’s missing from all the literature- story. Friendship. Relationship. The literature instead reflects our societal attitudes, and our attitudes look like BuzzFeed articles- “10 Ways You Are the WORST Husband and How to Fix Them.” I hope that the Church can turn this around, and start being a radical locus for inter-generational friendships & mentoring, perhaps especially where marriage, sex, and relationships are concerned.
One very brief story & I’m out:
3 years into my marriage, I talked with a close friend after he stayed the night on my couch. He’d had a blowout fight with his wife (first 6 months of his marriage), and they both needed a night to cool off. He was panicked, thinking that this was the first death knell in his relationship. In the 1st year of my own marriage, my wife & I fought hard enough to sleep separately a bunch of times- so I told him that. The relief and hope my friend experienced hearing that was huge, because suddenly he wasn’t a screwup, wasn’t alone, wasn’t the only one, and had palpable proof that marriages can totally make it through “sleep on the couch” type fights. I can only hope to give more moments like that, and to receive them from those further along than me.