Always Second Chances: Boyfriends and Girl Friends

Below is the another discussion from the combined effort of myself and a co-blogger by the name of Debbie to write on questions and issues in Christian dating. After last week’s article, Debbie decided she might keep me in the mix for weekly dialogues on different issues. Our hope is that this maintains ongoing discussions, introspection and personal reflection for how we, as Christians, ought to handle the crazy world of relationships. 
YOURS TRULY: 
So I just started writing for this blog run by a girl named Debbie. She’s pretty cool. Furthermore, it’s been great to discuss topics with her, swap insight and generally work together. Throughout this process she’s become what you might call… a friend. At least to me. She might still want to keep me on the outskirts of her social circles. But to me she’s a friend.

The thing is, I have a girlfriend, a very, very, awesome girlfriend. This presents itself with a number of questions: what is the appropriate manner in which I pursue friendships with other girls? Can we hang out one-one? What about doing homework together? Is that inappropriate? Are there rules across the board or is it specific to each person?
My primary concern in this situation must be honoring, preserving and strengthening my relationship with my girlfriend. Especially if we end up getting married; my relationship with her is the most important I have. This does not, however, require that all other relationships end. Furthermore, while our relationships with significant others/spouses are the most important, there is still importance in friendships with those of the opposite gender; they are, in fact, a necessity. I mean, I could work out of my house in my pajamas, become a recluse, read old novels, and watch sitcoms for the rest of my life  but my girlfriend told me that wasn’t really an option. So then I must realize that I will always be dealing with girls other than my girlfriend/spouse, and I must know how to do so in a healthy and honoring manner.
DEBBIE: 
I don’t know… Sean Connery in Finding Forrester seemed to manage the ‘ol hermit approach pretty well. I felt inspired.

It’s a weird topic, and honestly, I find it much easier at times to befriend guys who have girlfriends/wives than I do single guys. Why? Because they’re ‘safe’. If a guy in a relationship is friendly and appears interested in communicating with me (you’d be surprised at the number of Christians guys I encounter who are in relationships where it seems like they are not allowed to communicate with the other gender), I usually thoroughly enjoy my friendships with them. I enjoy them because they aren’t complicated. I know they don’t think I’m trying to hit on them and I clearly know they aren’t trying to hit on me. But, there also needs to be some sort of boundary….

...to read the complete article, go here.

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